Why The World Hasn't Ended Yet
by StripesGoDown
Summary: A Mary-sue bashing story. Kallen and Edward are tired of Mary-sues taking the spot light, and stealing their love interests. Other anime references you may or may not know of. One-Shot. No romance whatsoever between the two main characters.


**Notes: Edward can use alchemy in the Code Geass world, and Kallen has a fetish for boys her age, dark haired with gleaming purple or red eyes. (Hint, hint.)**

**Hi there! I wrote during my English class because I was bored. Also to apologize for people whom are waiting for the next chapter of Cinderella to come out. (Which is very few, very. Almost to none.) Nothing is coming out of my brain. Unless you want Mikan to talk about Ruka and how sweet, kind, unselfish (etcetra) he is, which I seriously doubt you MxN fans want. On with the Mary-sue and Gary Stu bashing story.**

**This story was written because the author's hatred of Mary-sues was so big, she had to vent it out. Why the world hasn't ended yet is because the Mary-sues haven't ruled the world (At least the fanfiction world) yet. Still wanna read? Go ahead.**

The girl flipped her perfectly full hair and opened her compact mirror, curling her eyelashes into perfect curls, as if they weren't perfect enough. "um, i dunt no?"

The redhead frowned. She was trying to find her leader, Lelouch, and he was playing hide-and-go-seek with her. _This_ was the reason why she couldn't comprehend why she hasn't left the group already- Wait, never mind.

Kallen propped her elbow up and and rested her lips onto her finger, furrowing her eyebrows. This girl was like the queen of fanservice, with her sexy style of fighting and a bust that is bit too big. Throughout the series, nudity (of course, none of the actual parts you know what I mean have been shown) has been flashed multiple times. Her hair spiked up all over the place with two strands of hair on the opposite sides of her head, and her body suit showed a hell of a lot of curves. She was a girl that relied on her leader, and could kick the average guy's ass. She was loyal as well. At least, loyal enough that she would look for her Lelouch prowling about gambling while her body molested in a bunny suit a bit too revealing for the little kids. She was special, though. If that's what you call jumping into a huge robot and completely kick ass, as well pwning the legendary Suzaku (Knight of six) with punches that would hurt like hell.

Her majesty (of fanservice) was completely irritated yet a bit relieved. At least this had proper grammar, but a huge lack of pronunciation.

But then a girl with ankle-length raven hair with bangs down the left part of her face bursted in, and fell to her knees. She was crying, but strangely enough her mascara wasn't running. Her hair was glossy as it could be, and also had a tight body suit, tighter than Kallen's, and showed a tiny waist, a majorly huge bust, and her hips were round and big. Sexy, some people may say, but it was disgusting how the girl showed so much cleavage that her boobs were practically popping out of the top of the tight bodysuit, and how the body suit wasn't actually a body suit. The rest to cover the leg looked like knee socks. Basically, the whole 'outfit' just looked like a low, tight long sleeved shirt attached to a pair of short shorts, added with knee socks.

"Oh help me!" the creepy and slutty girl cried, but the voice sounded like horrible acting. She screeched, and put her hands (with long, manicured silver nails) in front of her as she stumbled and fell as if she was trying to avoid to scar her face, and crawled over to Kallen. "My parents died from a car crash, my brother committed suicide, my sister beats me to do her bidding because she's jealous that I have better skills than she has and also because I'm more prettier, I have no friends so I'm forced to live in isolation, I have one month to live, and I'm dirt poor! Oh help me!" She looked up to the ceiling, as if something would crash down and save her.

Kallen, on the other hand, was having a difficult time trying to not jump into her mega-robot called a Knightmare (notice the pun?) and completely burn, cut, squeeze, suffocate, or burn these _things_ down. Yep, she refused to identify these as humans. They were some kind of alien species called _Mary-Sues_. Once upon a time, these things have not existed, until someone thought of putting their fantasies down on paper (or website, you know) and completely published the thing online. Every time these _stories_ were written, they would pop-up. Stealing love, stealing attention, and stealing fame. All these _things_, for a lack of a better word, ruined the whole scenery.

_What the... _Was all could this poor redhead think while trying to ask where her captain was.

* * *

"oMigod lyke iSnt he soooo~ gorjuss?? i mEen lyke if he wus lyk mi Boyfrend id lyke toTtaly die." Sheska blushed and spoke (OOC) like her vocabulary and pronunciation took a nose dive. She giggled like a fangirl, and was glancing at _him_ with a random friend.

The girl replied with a slightly bitter tone, "i no lyke i ttly sewt him but he lyks sum1 else but i dun no y cuz that winrie girl is suuuuuch~ a *****. (Note: think female dog)" She pouted her dry lips, and glared at the couple's flirting. She then looked over her shoulder. There was Edward Elric, fuming at the couple, and it suddenly got a few degrees warmer in the atmosphere.

The blonde stood very still, his automail and body not moving an inch. His eyebrows furrowed, and he had an almost painful look on his face. This was extremely unusual, and usually his love interest noticed right away, and would comfort him. But the couple didn't notice a thing, and were currently flirting and kissing as if there was no tomorrow.

Now, Edward Elric was a very intelligent, and strong fellow. He has done many things, including one incident that cost his brother's body and his own arm and leg. Don't worry; he has these artificial limbs that connect to the nerve system, and they can be used as normal limbs. His little brother on the other hand; his soul has been transmuted into a shell of armor.

But this guy was _short._ Like 5"1. But don't call that to his face, he'll yell some kind of twisted name, and rip your head off. He has the skills to show it. He can do this thing called alchemy, and _man_ he's good at it. All he has to do is clap his hands together, and touch the surface of the material he wants to transmute. Other alchemists but for a few exceptions, have to draw some kind of circle in order to transmute. Don't ask me though, I'm no expert. But, he's so good, he became the youngest State Alchemist at the age of twelve. He was amazing. Except for the fact he was short. (Edward: Don't call me short!)

But, he had found a problem. This _guy_ named _Gary Stu_ had defeated his record of being the youngest State alchemist at the age of 10, and has grown into a fine 14-year-old. Cold; yes. Attractive; yes. Amazing; to the point of being inhuman. This guy practically _stole_ his spotlight. Youngest State Alchemist, can clap his hands into transmuting something, and has gained the sympathy of millions of girls with the loss of a lung. He stole Edward's love interest; Winry (Pronounced: Win-Rie), and gained the respect of his younger brother, Alphonse Elric, commonly known as Al.

The worst part is, he's _taller_ than him. A 5"8 hunk, and he's still 3 good years younger than him.

Completely outraged, Edward threw his arms in the air and stomped off to find the gate to lead him to another dimension. He found the Gate, and walked through.

"I don't like that _Gary Stu_."

* * *

The Mary-Sues were getting on Kallen's nerves. Just eating away her patience. One was bawling on the floor, with her love interest as well as leader; Lelouch was uncharacteristically throwing himself onto the floor staring at their perfection, and screaming "I love you! Date me and you'll never feel sorry again!"

Kallen was both amused and outraged at the scene.

But then, a blonde male stumbled out of nowhere, wearing a red cloak over what looked like an alteration of the Brittania School uniform. His boots were tall, and the antennae on his head made him look like a goof. The most strangest thing was, he looked at least 16, but he was short.

"Oh great, _more._" The weird shortie slapped his hand onto his forehead, making a big _whack _sound. He turned to look to see if there were any sane people around, eyes falling on a particular redhead. Kallen.

"Is there anyway I can help you with?" She was in her ready position, eyes locked with the strange blondie. She had her knife in her hand and was not afraid to use it.

The strange boy/guy clapped his hands and touched the ground, with sparks dancing around, a blue light showing. The ground slowly molded into a pole, thick enough to withstand her knife, with a sharp cut on the top. Blondie (She went with that name until she learned his actual name) held the pole at her, eyes narrowing. "Where am I and who are you?"

Kallen copied the boy's action. How did he do that? The redhead blinked, and firmly held her knife in place. "Kouzuki Kallen. You are in Area eleven in the Shinjuku Ghetto."

"Edward Elric. Currently sick of listening to Gary Stus and Mary Sues, used to be in the country called _Amestris._ Will you help me in my quest of destroying these creatures?"

Kallen raised an eyebrow and stared. "Whatever shortie. As long as I can get my Lulu back," she said bitterly as she pointed to the raven haired 18-year-old bowing down to the perfectly beautiful duo.

"I see. You have lost someone to _them_."

She nodded. "Let's go pip-squeak."

Edward tried to hold it in, but it wasn't any use. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIP-SQUEAK WHOM DOESN'T HAVE TO USE AN UMBERELLA SINCE HE'S SO MICROSCOPIC HE CAN JUST WALK THROUGH THE RAIN WITHOUT GETTING WET BY DODGING THE DROPS OF WATER?!?!"

Oooh, better make a mental note to not call Blondie short.

Kallen was pretty shocked to see that Edward like that.

They gathered other main characters from various animes, such as Yuiki Yaya from Shugo Chara, Naruto from, well, Naruto, Rei from Sailor Moon, Fuko and Nagisa from Clannad, and so forth.

They had spread flyers of the pinkest of all pink cars being held at an auction, and all the Mary Sues in the world had flocked the seats, with their pink and blue poodles, white purses and black converse. The Gary Stus flocked the auctions for various sport games and deodorant, buying what they can. When both creatures finished maxing out their credit cards, the actual characters destroyed the _things_ with flying rubber duckies, clone "jutsus", icy flames of Mars, flying wooden starfish, Knightmares, plushies of an edible sweet dumpling, and other things the author is too lazy to write down. The remains were dumped into a big hole Edward Elric had transmuted.

The main characters were still unsatisfied. They looked at each other, and shrugged.

Off to the next dimension.

THE END. :D

**This little drabble was brought to you by: Yu-gi-ohs... Not. But they are Yugi-licious!**

**Yes, you can flame me, but keep in mind, this was to prove that I am not dead or something. Hurray! I am currently supposed to work on a PowerPoint (Don't own) presentation that I'm not doing at the moment. :P I don't know if you guys WANT me to write more, but yeah. I'm going to continue my life... Doing otaku shtuff. That sounded odd.**

**... I have an apple. (Know where that's from?)**


End file.
